So much for that idea...

I was going to keep up with this blog, but then... like almost everything else in my life it got put on the back burner.

Life's good, so good.
I'm lucky, so lucky.


Busy, busy, b u s y !


One day i'll update. Remind my future-self on my inner thoughts at this moment in my life.

al.

Good Friday

It’s been over a year since I’ve written anything in here. I guess I decided todays the day to catch up on what has been going on in the world of Alice.

It’s hard to decide where to begin… I guess I have 3 main elements to my life; Kie, Tech and Work. I guess there are other things, my brain, friends, family, holiday ra ra ra.

Kieran is pretty wonderful. He would do absolutely anything for me. I say jump he says how high and would I like anything else with that. It’s been 16 months now, I’m pretty sure we’ve bet my previous record. Our relationship has been so easy; he fits with my life so well. Unfortunately I think he molds into my life more than anything. I wish I knew how he really felt sometimes, if he really wants to be with me over his friends, what he really thinks of me, what he wishes I wouldn’t do. I’m sure there is something… he just wouldn’t tell me because he loves me too much to be objective or real (in a sense) with me.

The second year of my Media Arts degree is going well, I guess. I strive so hard to do good and when I don’t I’m so hard on myself. I deserve all my marks, I don’t spend all my time on my tech work, I don’t pay attention in all the lectures or make notes all the time but I still know, without doing all this I can do it. I take a lot of stress on my shoulders. I let all these little things get to me, they pile up in my head and I swear one day I’ll have a real mental breakdown not just the hypothetical type.

I switched my job in September last year. I think the move from Jay-Jays to Glassons showed me that, just like my Dad always tells me, things always do have a way of working themselves out. I was so unhappy with how I was being treated at Jays, I felt like for the work I was putting in I was so underappreciated whereas at Glassons generally I’m always treated well, the girls are so lovely and I’ve made some really amazing friend out of it. Plus I like the clothes and all the interesting people I meet everyday. I’m happy where I am.

I’ve got a lot going on in my head. I don’t know how to express it into words entirely. I think I should probably get some type of help – or maybe I’m just being a hypochondriac. I think my relationship with food is quite unhealthy. As I drift off to sleep, in my mind I make a list of everything I’ve eaten in that day and think of things I could have eliminated and not eaten in the first place. Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror and wish I could just vacuum the fat out of my arms, tummy, and thighs… I know it’s so easy to eat right and exercise I just don’t have the get up and go to do it. I think I’m going to start. I want to be happy with every element of my life and the only way to do that is to be proactive and do it. I could type out a massive list of things to do but at the end of the day I just have to do it. No words necessary.  

I’ll write about my friends, family and holiday later this week.

I’m going to keep this online diary up and running this time. It’s so freeing to get things down. A physical copy of what is what.

iloveyou.

♥

"I'm so sorry for the last few days and the rest. If there was some way I could show you i would. As i look at the photos of us i remember how happy we were. I'm 100% sure that we are going to be better and happier than that soon. What doesn't kill us makes us stronger. SO we are going to be stronger together and as a person. You're the first and last thing i think about everyday, i can't imagine my life without you. I love you so very much, and will do for a very long time. xxxx"

It's okay, we're okay again.

he loves me so much

i only love 115 things about you.

What I love about Kieran Fitzgerald White:

1.       Loves me unconditionally

2.       Thinks the sun shines out my arse

3.       Trustful

4.       Honest

5.       Understanding

6.       Accepts me as what/who I am

7.       Faithful

8.       Funny

9.       Believes in me

10.   Family oriented (my family / his family)

11.   Respectful

12.   Doesn’t do drugs

13.   Is fit and healthy

14.   Has excellent hygiene (fresh Breathe –even in the morning!)

15.   Takes care in his appearance

16.   Willing to help around house –Make my bed J

17.   Likes my baking, loves peanut butter toast too!

18.   Financially secure, has a full time job. Not at all lazy

19.   Willing to go that extra mile to make me happy

20.   Makes me feel secure, save and loved

21.   If we were ever to marry he believes marriage is forever – just like me

22.   Likes animals, wants a puppy just like me!

23.   Intelligent in his own way

24.   Sex is important but not a priority

25.   Is there for me (emotionally and physically)

26.   Is my best friend

27.   Understands the value of a dollar

28.   Genuine good person

29.   Never fails to make me smile/laugh

30.   Is patient with me

31.   Stands up for me

32.   Encourages Me

33.   Surprises me every once in awhile (Just Because he can)

34.   Makes me a priority in his life

35.   Handles Conflict with maturity (willing to talk things through rather than exploding)

36.   Fun

37.   Has Self respect

38.   Very handsome

39.   Has personal goals

40.   Wants to make something out of himself

41.   Likes to just hold me

42.   Doesn’t hold grudges

43.   Builds me up and helps me to be a better woman

44.   Doesn’t make me worry or fearful – Tells me when I’m over thinking things

45.   Does not play video games obsessively

46.   Passionate (about me and his car!)

47.   Doesn’t complain about anything

48.   Romantic

49.   Says what he means

50.   Means what he says

51.   Approachable – wants me to talk to him about everything

52.   Helpful

53.   Adventurous in bed and out

54.   Kind

55.   Has manners – knows his please and thank you

56.   Compassionate

57.   Likes to just walk around the block with me

58.   Not an alcoholic

59.   Supports me emotionally

60.   Takes time to plan dates and things to do

61.   Has ambition

62.   Has patience

63.   Never ceases to amaze me

64.   Keeps his hands to himself when necessary

65.   Hold my hand – Even in front of his work mates

66.   Wants me to be his and only his

67.   Someone I can confide in

68.   Like to go out and have a drink and chill (not a wild part animal)

69.   Willing to do tedious work if needed

70.   Has a sense of humour

71.   Understands my sense of humour

72.   Loves my dancing! J

73.   Makes me smile

74.   Is sincerely proud of me

75.   Proud to call me his girlfriend

76.   Proud of who I am

77.   Compliments me to his friends, my friends and family with or without me around

78.   Overly generous – not at all stingy

79.   Willing to share is food with me

80.   Believes in a future

81.   Wants children one day

82.   Supports my degree and understands how important it is to me

83.   Will stay up just to talk to me

84.   Will let me have my favourite spot – most of the time! AND IS THE BIG SPOON

85.   Doesn’t take me for granted

86.   In touch with his sensitive side

87.   Can appreciate the small things in live – beauty in nature

88.   Non smoker

89.   Never disrespectful – keeps our private live, private

90.   Likes to go on random adventures with me  

91.   Laid back

92.   Willing to let me go out with my friends

93.   Likes my friends

94.   Taller than me

95.   Will take care of me when I’m sick

96.   Tells me I’m beautiful and really believes it

97.   Protective

98.   Would do anything in the world for me

99.   Willing to try new things with me

100.     Makes me feel like I’m helping him become a better person

101.     Builds me up and helps me to be a better woman

102.     Helping me believe in love again

103.     Always smells good – thanks to me!

104.     Doesn’t live in the past – doesn’t let bad experiences change him

105.     Exercises with me – pushes me  

106.     Motivated – has up and go

107.     Doesn’t have anger issues

108.     Won’t ever try change me

109.     Likes the same things I do

110.     Laughs and me and at himself too

111.     Does the right thing

112.     Likes music, movies and entertainment – likes to do things

113.     Will always be there when I need him

114.     Will do silly things with me, has a silly heart and loves mine

115.     Good, safe confident driver