Good Friday

It’s been over a year since I’ve written anything in here. I guess I decided todays the day to catch up on what has been going on in the world of Alice.

It’s hard to decide where to begin… I guess I have 3 main elements to my life; Kie, Tech and Work. I guess there are other things, my brain, friends, family, holiday ra ra ra.

Kieran is pretty wonderful. He would do absolutely anything for me. I say jump he says how high and would I like anything else with that. It’s been 16 months now, I’m pretty sure we’ve bet my previous record. Our relationship has been so easy; he fits with my life so well. Unfortunately I think he molds into my life more than anything. I wish I knew how he really felt sometimes, if he really wants to be with me over his friends, what he really thinks of me, what he wishes I wouldn’t do. I’m sure there is something… he just wouldn’t tell me because he loves me too much to be objective or real (in a sense) with me.

The second year of my Media Arts degree is going well, I guess. I strive so hard to do good and when I don’t I’m so hard on myself. I deserve all my marks, I don’t spend all my time on my tech work, I don’t pay attention in all the lectures or make notes all the time but I still know, without doing all this I can do it. I take a lot of stress on my shoulders. I let all these little things get to me, they pile up in my head and I swear one day I’ll have a real mental breakdown not just the hypothetical type.

I switched my job in September last year. I think the move from Jay-Jays to Glassons showed me that, just like my Dad always tells me, things always do have a way of working themselves out. I was so unhappy with how I was being treated at Jays, I felt like for the work I was putting in I was so underappreciated whereas at Glassons generally I’m always treated well, the girls are so lovely and I’ve made some really amazing friend out of it. Plus I like the clothes and all the interesting people I meet everyday. I’m happy where I am.

I’ve got a lot going on in my head. I don’t know how to express it into words entirely. I think I should probably get some type of help – or maybe I’m just being a hypochondriac. I think my relationship with food is quite unhealthy. As I drift off to sleep, in my mind I make a list of everything I’ve eaten in that day and think of things I could have eliminated and not eaten in the first place. Sometimes I stand in front of the mirror and wish I could just vacuum the fat out of my arms, tummy, and thighs… I know it’s so easy to eat right and exercise I just don’t have the get up and go to do it. I think I’m going to start. I want to be happy with every element of my life and the only way to do that is to be proactive and do it. I could type out a massive list of things to do but at the end of the day I just have to do it. No words necessary.  

I’ll write about my friends, family and holiday later this week.

I’m going to keep this online diary up and running this time. It’s so freeing to get things down. A physical copy of what is what.